Ghost
by SacrificialLamb
Summary: When Edward leaves Bella, we all know the pain she goes through. However, we don't know what happens to Edward during this dark time. Ghost follows Edward's story while he was away, showing his hardships and his heartache.
1. Preface

Preface

Time moves quickly for me, for my kind. It changes everything around me, leaving my family and me the same. New inventions emerged, styles of clothing changed, and we watched them all occur, adapting easily, never actually changing ourselves. Time never touched our stone cold forms.

Time was nothing to us.

But it was everything to _her._

She wanted so badly to give up her life and become a damned monster. Every moment of her life was almost sacred to me, and she was so willing to destroy it. How could I possibly let that happen? No, I did the right thing for her, I couldn't let her do something so criminal as to kill herself.

I was wrong for her, I knew this. My world did not belong with hers. She needed to be happy, and normal, things she could not be if she stayed with me. I had to convince myself of this. I could not continue destroying her life and taking her away from being human.

I thought it would keep her safe.

Now that she was dead, gone forever, time meant something to me too. It moved slowly now, each lingering moment another blow of excruciating pain to my lifeless heart.

I knew it would come to this eventually. She would have died eventually, but I had no idea it would be this soon.

I walked silently through the stoned halls of the Volterra clock tower building, after having been rejected by the Volturi yet again.

I unbuttoned my shirt slowly as I walked. Hopefully it would be quick.

I doubt that there is any afterlife waiting for me. I want there to be, though. A place where I can be with her again. Just her and me, alone together, where there is no more pain for either of us. This kind of place couldn't be too unrealistic, now that I thought about it. Maybe Carlisle will be right.

The large wooden doors stood open at the entrance to the building, and I stood there, in the shadows, watching the red cloaked tourists wave flags and flash plastic fangs.

Suddenly, the clock boomed overhead. Noon. The humans outside covered their ears, and walked away from the noise, some turning to glare at the giant clock. None of them noticed me. Yet. They would not be able to ignore me, and the Volturi would have no choice but to kill me.

Sighing, I removed my shirt completely and let it fall to the floor.

"Bella," I whispered for what would be the last time, closing my eyes. I let her face swirl around in my mind, remembering every moment I had had with her, every touch, every look, I even let myself remember her scent.

I felt another sharp jab of anguish, but cast it aside, trying to convince myself that I would be with her again, in some way.

As the final gong sounded from the clock, I stepped out into the blazing Italian sun.


	2. Planning

Disclaimer: As this story is basically New Moon through Edward's point of view, some situations and quotes may be used directly from the book. In these circumstances, content belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

"Edward! You have to get Bella _something_! It's her birthday for crying out loud!" Alice shrilled, placing her hands on her small hips and looking at me grudgingly.

"She doesn't want gifts," I explained, shrugging.

"Bella doesn't know what she wants. Go out and buy her a gift, now!"

"No."

I could almost feel Alice's rage rolling at me like boulders, but I ignored her. She was right, though. Bella doesn't know what she wants. Bella would more than happily accept the gift of becoming a monster if I offered it to her. I wouldn't, of course, but that's how things were.

We all lounged around the house, occupying ourselves with various activities, waiting for when it would be appropriate for us to leave for school or work. The humans were still sleeping right now.

I wondered idly what Bella was dreaming about right now, and contemplated going to visit her. I had my mind nearly made up to leave, when Alice interrupted me again.

"I can see what you're going to do, and I will not allow it. You can see her in a few hours, for now, I need you to help with the planning for her party tonight." She waved at a piece of paper where she was drawing up plans for an elaborate party.

"Bella won't want…" I started, but she held up a hand.

"If you'll shut up about it, we can make it a simple family get together, here, just the seven of us and Bella." Her eyes narrowed, and she crumpled up the paper she was using, tossing it expertly over her shoulder into the trash can in the corner.

I sighed. There was no arguing with her.

The rest of the night and into the morning was mostly spent with Alice, coming up with ideas for the small, but still elegant party set for that night.

I was relieved when it was time to go to school. Anything to escape picking out flower arrangements with Alice for another five hours. I couldn't escape her thoughts though, which were still puzzling over the red bouquets or the white ones.

I allowed Bella to drive herself to school today, a secret present from me to her. I knew she liked being independent at times, and of course she was still ridiculously frightened of my driving. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

I pulled my Volvo into the usual spot in the student parking lot, allowing Alice to leave. Of course she refused. She bounced annoyingly next to me, her mind still racing about the party. I leaned against the driver's side door of the car, waiting for Bella, and trying my hardest to ignore my spiky-haired sister.

It wasn't long before I heard the thundering of Bella's truck down the road. I smiled and focused my eyes on the lot entrance. She parked quickly and jumped down from the cab, stumbling slightly, before slamming the door behind her.

I began to straighten up to go meet her, but Alice beat me to it.

"Happy birthday Bella!" She chimed.

Bella shh'd her quickly, looking around nervously. I couldn't figure out why. Again, my inability to read her thoughts frustrated me momentarily.

Alice continued babbling to Bella, as if she had not just been hushed. I didn't pay much attention to the conversation, as they began to head towards me, and I focused on Bella's expression. She was looking right back at me, her face grave.

I reached out for Bella's hand when they finally got to me, and I pulled her close, tracing my finger down her cheek, chuckling when she shivered slightly.

"So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?" My eyebrows creased together in frustration again, trying to figure out why she had such an aversion to her birthday.

"Yes. That is correct," she responded formally, looking serious.

"Just checking." I ran a hand through my hair thoughtfully, still trying to decipher her reasons. "You _might_ have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

She made a face like she had just bit into a sour grape.

Alice laughed musically. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" I heard the rest of what she wanted to say in my mind, and held back a smile.

Bella wasn't as amused.

"Getting older," she responded glumly, her voice shaking a bit.

My lips tightened. So that was her problem.

"Eighteen isn't very old. Don't women usually wait until they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" Alice commented, trying not to yell at Bella.

"It's older than Edward," she murmured under her breath, looking down.

I sighed, looking up at the sky as if the answer to her aging problem would be up there.

"Technically," Alice said thoughtfully, still forcing to keep the conversation light and cheerful, "just by one little year, though."

Bella went quiet then, still looking down.

_Edward, seriously. Cheer her up. I will not have her day ruined because she is depressed about her age. _Alice raged at me in her mind, looking right at me.

I made a face to show I was listening.

Her thoughts then went back to the more pressing matter at hand, to her anyway.

"What time will you be at the house?"

Bella looked up, surprised. "I didn't know I had plans to be there." She glanced at me, looking confused and slightly suspicious.

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" she whined. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun, are you?"

"I told you," I mumbled to Alice, too low for Bella to hear.

_Shut it_, she thought.

"I thought my birthday was about what _I _want."

I interrupted then, knowing it was on a straight path to nowhere. "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school." Alice beamed at me.

"I have to work," she asserted.

Of course Alice and I came across this problem last night during our planning. I had told her of Bella's work obligations, and she simply waved it off, her cell phone already at her ear, the number for the Newton's sports supplies shop showing dully on the screen.

"You don't, actually," Alice explained. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday'."

Bella began to look panicked now.

"I – I still can't come over," I could literally see her brain scrambling to come up with another excuse. "I, well, I haven't watched _Romeo and Juliet_ yet for English."

That was all she could come up with? _That_ was her elaborate plan to get away from Alice's clutches?

Alice seemed to be in tune with me, and snorted.

"You have _Romeo and Juliet_ memorized," she accused.

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it – that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Bella never learned with Alice.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice pointed out, her forced smile still smug on her face.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Alice's thoughts turned almost violent, and she openly glared at Bella, all signs of humor gone from her face. I prepared to restrain her if need be.

"This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other—"

I stopped her there, not wanting her to upset Bella even more today. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, she can. It's her birthday."

Alice's eyes bugged out and the threats in her head turned particularly nasty.

"So there," Bella added. I almost thought she would stick her tongue out.

"I'll bring her over around seven. That will give you more time to set up," I continued.

Alice laughed, her thoughts peaceful again. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." She kissed Bella swiftly on the cheek, and darted off for class, thinking of flowers again.

Bella stood stunned for a moment. Her hand was still in mine and I rubbed my thumb across the top of her hand until she thawed out.

"Edward, please—" she began, her tone pleading.

I touched her lips softly to quiet her.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

She nodded once, and gripped my hand more firmly. I let her lead the way to class in silence, thinking of how I could make both Bella, _and _Alice happy. It seemed impossible.


End file.
